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Driving home from Gulf Shores, Alabama aftermost weekend, I may acquire encountered the approaching of the U.S. budgetary system: The dematerialization of the penny.

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Sorry, Abe, you’ve got to go.

Somewhere forth I-10, I’m not abiding which exit, it was backward and I was active on effluvium (not the car, me), I chock-full at an Arby’s. I ordered the new Bourbon BBQ Brisket Sandwich. Didn’t adjustment a bendable alcohol because I accomplish continued drives with a two-liter Diet Pepsi on the commuter seat. 

Total price, including tax: $7.03. I gave the abettor night administrator a $20 bill.

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And that’s aback the approaching appeared in a vision. The banknote annals clicked $7.03, accustomed $20…change $13.

Not the mathematically actual $12.97. Or a ten, two singles, three quarters, two dimes — and three nuisance pennies.

But $13 even. Abundant appreciated. This wasn’t animal error, or affected adjustment to accumulate the band moving. The banknote annals fabricated the accommodation automatically.

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For years, there’s been an abstraction amphibian in Washington: it’s time to annihilate the penny. It’s not aloof that a penny is appealing abundant worthless, it’s a accident leader. It costs the U.S. Mint 1.66 cents to accomplish a 1.0 cent penny. Alike for the federal government, that’s brainless spending.

Ever get abaft somebody averseness for pennies in the drive-through so they can pay the exact bill at Wendy’s? You apperceive why bodies do that? So they don’t get added pennies aback from the cashier. Vending machines don’t acquire pennies. Car manufacturers should stop calling it an “ashtray.” It’s a “penny holder.”

When the penny holder gets full, you booty them to the bazaar and cascade them into the Coinstar machine, which accuse a able-bodied 12-percent fee if you appetite a banknote receipt. 

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Loan sharks should be ashamed by Coinstar. Rodney Dangerfield acclimated to acquaint a joke: “When I was starting out, I adopted $100 from a accommodation shark. I paid him $20 a anniversary for 10 years and still owed him $500.”

Coinstar isn’t that bad…but a apparatus can dream, can’t it?

It’s adamantine to acquisition a coffer that will calculation your bill for free, and those that do generally acquire a $25 limit. Then they allegation a 5 percent fee. Most banks will accord you bread wrappers for free, though. Now there’s a ton of fun, capacity 50 pennies into a wrapper. An hour later, you still haven’t put a cavity in that jar of pennies on your bedchamber dresser.

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There is an barefaced altercation to accumulate the penny. Less-fortunate bodies may anguish that businesses will annular up prices, and every penny counts. I get that.

But let’s acquire acceptance that retail won’t booty advantage and spiral the customer a brace of pennies actuality and there, which would add up, no question.

New Zealand deep-sixed both its penny and 2-cent bread in 1989. Check Travelocity — there’s a ceaseless flight from Houston to Auckland. New Zealand survives after abandoned little coins.

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Then there’s the affected amount of pennies. Acclimated to be you could buy a allotment of Bazooka bubblegum for a penny. Acclimated to be was a long, continued time ago. There’s annihilation at the bend accessibility abundance for a penny anymore — except the little bowl of pennies, so you can abstain accepting pennies aback from the cashier.

There are consistently pennies in that dish. Stores can’t alike accord ’em away.

That Arby’s on I-10 is advanced of its time — it’s time to do abroad with pennies. (And my Bourbon BBQ Brisket Sandwich was absolutely good, alike by choosy Texas barbecue standards.)

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Until the penny is banned, it will abide to serve its capital function, causing a agitation in the clothes dryer because you forgot to abandoned your pants pockets afore accomplishing a wash.

Should the U.S. c the penny? Let Ken apperceive on Twitter. 

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